The reason I have to do this is because I’m ridiculously ambitious and I actually want to complete what seems to be too much. When I was eight years old, I watched Toy Story, Antz, and A Bugs Life, and I realized that animation was a job field that I could become a part of some day. I said “I want to do THAT when I grow up,” (THAT meaning I wanted to be part of creating something new and something that was out of this world!) As I grew older, I began to realize that Pixar, Disney, and Dream Works happened to be the most coveted/competitive jobs in the animation field. I realize that I’m ambitious, but I’m still going for it.
When I graduated high school, I wanted to go to Savannah College of Art and Design for Animation. At the time, they were 3rd best in the country for that major. I got accepted, but didn’t have the funds. It was (at the time) the most devastating thing I’d ever gone through (not being able to go; because, that meant I probably wasn’t going to ever get to the animation studios of my dreams). Now I’m a senior in college and I’m realizing I’m venerable to the same let down that I faced back in 2008. I told myself that there’s only three months left of college and that that’s a short enough time that I can survive going ALL OUT.
People doubt my ability. Sure I have an ambitious film to accomplish this semester. I told myself that I’m not going to let anything stop me. My older brother has asked me what I’d do if I DO get hired at Disney right out of college, but aren’t experienced enough to keep my job there. My dad has made comments that make me wonder if I'm good enough, and he's said I need to cut my film in order to pass senior year.
I’m sick of this uphill battle against what used to be my support group. I think they might be starting to convince me that I actually can’t accomplish this. I’m starting to just want to prove to myself that I can do it to keep my child hood dream alive. I need to do this! Against all odds I WILL NOT CUT MY FILM, unless it’s the last effort I make before failure. I need to prove to them that I can do this. I need to re-prove to myself that “I got this,” as I keep telling myself.
If I have this film at the end of this semester, it will be the strongest driving force behind all I do for the rest of my life.
It’s not easy going “uphill” against what others keep telling me. I’d like to prove to everybody that no matter what, I’m unstoppable and when I set my mind to something that’s important to me, then nobody can tell me I’m not good enough to make it.
I GOT THIS!
I will complete this film by the end of the semester. I’m still racing the clock (which tends to go alarmingly fast), but I will win in the end.
I didn’t make my milestone that I had set at the very beginning, but I’m adjusting to the facts. I think I’m going to cut the inking phase of my Production schedule and clean up my pencil drawings instead. Then I’m going to color the entire film over the two weeks I would have been inking. I also split my film up into individual characters that need animating per shot, instead of just splitting my schedule up into Shots that need animating. Originally I had my schedule composed of just shots that needed animating, and then I’d get frustrated when some shots had three characters.
One more battle against time was that I was working 15-25 hours at my part time job over the weekends. This was preventing me from putting in the hours I needed on my film, and also causing me MUCH more stress. As of Friday the 24th, I asked for fewer hours so that I could focus more on my film.
I feel that I’m making appropriate adjustments to the problems I’m experiencing/foreseeing, and I WILL accomplish the film I had envisioned at the beginning of the semester.
As far as week 4’s milestone, I didn’t accomplish it. But seeing as how much I faced, I think I’m making the right decisions to overcome the obstacles at hand.